Lapse

It is still technically Monday, so I’m counting this, but in a sense I have lapsed. It is Monday evening, and so far I’ve been good at having each post written a few days before Monday, and then scheduling it to post at the same time each week. However, I went home to Minnesota this weekend, and thinking of a post to write was not on my mind. So, after the fact, I’ll write a bit about going home.

One of the main feelings I had about going home was it being bittersweet. It was definitely nice to go home, walk around campus, and it also helped that there was some beautiful fall weather and quite the palette of colors on the trees. I really enjoyed seeing my friends who were around, and to see my family. I’m lucky that I have a job that will allow me to do this with some regularity.

It also made the distance far more apparent. Flying on a plane, seeing people for a few days, then heading back to do work again, makes things feel more permanent. At least when I was an intern, I knew I was coming back. Now, it is coming back just to visit, then going home to San Diego. This is a very strange feeling to work through. It is hard to see people in person so infrequently. I know it is something I’ll get used to, because this is a part of growing into an adult life, but it’s a period of adjustment. And that is a difficult part of any new chapter in life: adjusting. You want things to become normal pretty quickly, and you immediately forget all the other transitions you had to deal with in life that were tough at first.

This is why having a consistent schedule is important, and something I’ve tried to do with this blog. The fact that I remembered out of the blue to quickly write something shows it is a long-term habit that is sticking. It’s good to know that, because I can rely on this outlet and on my brain to give me a little reminder. This is for me, and I don’t want it to become a chore, which is why I haven’t set myself any reminders to do it. As long as I keep feeling motivated to do it, and I feel it is helping me, I will continue to write here every week, even if I happen to miss my self-imposed deadline every so often.

In a similar vein, I’ve been trying to use a daily journal app, Journey. I haven’t written in it every day, but most days since I started a little over a week ago. The key for me is allowing this blog to be my long form (typing it up properly on a computer with a full keyboard), and if there is something I want to process, I can do that in Journey. But it also is very sufficient for use on my phone, making a quick record of what I did and how I feel, as well as providing a few data points. It automatically checks your location, the weather, and you can insert a little emoticon to track how you’re feeling when you write it.

I’ve had a few efforts at journaling over the past 10 years or so, each with mixed success. My most recent effort lasted about a year, where I wrote a script to generate a markdown document every month, and I could then open it up and go to the relevant day and write. The main limiting factor is that I really needed to be on a computer to use it effectively. An iPad could work, with a good enough app, but the way I had it designed, it was not good for a phone. So, I started using it less frequently during times when I was away from my computer, even if these were often times where I needed to process my life more. Hence, the desire to look for a good app with good features with a good price. I don’t have to use it on my phone, but it is very effective when I do.

This turned into a fairly decent post. I’m not changing the title though.

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