Our recent trip to New Mexico was excellent for two reasons: it was a distinct kind of trip from what we’ve typically had over the last few years, and the landscape was unique and gorgeous. You can look back at the pictures to understand that second part—mountainous terrain scarred by terrible fires that continues to fight back paired with high-altitude meadows, all of which abut scrubby desert; amazing cultural artifacts dating back centuries that speak to both a proud indigenous history and an impactful, conflict-ridden European influence; plus a smattering of my hobbies like baseball and disc golf to round it out.
These wonderful elements established how we would spend our days, but we didn’t solely plan this trip to see a place we’d never visited. That will come in the future. This was a trip to spend time with two people.
Over the last five years, we’ve seen friends and family in two situations: as hosts or when visiting home. Between San Diego and San Francisco, I’ve lived in desirable spots for others to visit. Nice weather, beaches, fun cities, and an innate desire and aptitude for hosting others (even when the accommodations aren’t ideal) led to a steady stream of visitors over the years.
Our only other trips were back to Minnesota for the holidays or just because. We’d go back for a week or two (sometimes three) at a time, and cram our days full of time with friends while staying at one set of parents or the other. These trips are always wonderful, but they can also be tiring and aren’t a vacation in any sense of the word. We are fluttering about, handling logistics, eating out, and working to optimize our available time. We’ve become good at planning ahead, and we’re lucky we still have a solid crew in Minnesota that we can visit.
We’re also lucky to have friends and family spread out, and we’re making a concerted effort to see them. That’s why this trip to New Mexico was special: it was our first trip together explicitly to visit someone.
Our typical travel approach requires a home base, like our parents’ houses or a hotel in San Francisco. We see people throughout the day, then head back to base. This is nice in many ways because our space is under our control, and we know we have somewhere to go if we lose steam. We aren’t tied to the whims of the hosts.
All those mild comforts are at the expense of the intangible experience of going through a full day, dealing with the little intricacies of waking up and heading to bed, determining meals together, seeing how someone lives their day, and coordinating those details. People wake up at different times, and you get more little interactions that are fun one-offs you wouldn’t otherwise get when you need to plan every moment: a tighter bond forms, and a more meaningful trip results.
I woke up one morning and played cribbage with my sister in law. Another morning, I sat in a comfortable chair and read for a couple of hours. We made dinner together, played board games, and watched a movie—essentially acting as short-term roommates in the most delightful way.
Even if we don’t stay with someone we’re visiting, I find focused trips around one or two people more enjoyable than frenetic bouncing about. In the same way, I prefer small gatherings and dinners to well-attended events. The success of this New Mexico trip has me excited about everywhere else we can go to see other people, like Toronto and Denver, and make the most of those long weekends.