I’m a certified card guy. A notable greeting card enthusiast. A frequent mail-based correspondent. I think Bob at my local post office recognizes me.
I purchase two or three birthday cards from my local grocery and drug stores each month, and I don’t cut corners. I am steadfastly selective. Below are my card criteria I recommend everyone use to ensure a meaningful choice, and to encourage card manufacturers to improve their options.
- Any card you buy must, upon first read, elicit an audible laugh or a shrug.
- If you anticipate the card’s punchline, it’s not funny enough.
- Avoid crude humor unless the recipient regularly tells and enjoys such jokes.
- Singing cards are an intruding embarrassment, unless you’re confident the recipient finds them charming.
- Select cards with no more than two sentences of text in the interior. One sentence is preferred. The only exception is if it’s tremendously funny.
- When in doubt, choose a card that plainly states the occasion on the outside and lacks inside text altogether.
- If you find a card that would be ideal for a particular person in the future, buy it.
Happy shopping.